I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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