i permit you to call me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
