it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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