she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
