The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
