Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
