hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
