what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
