he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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