Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
smell my finger.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
