It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
