I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize