Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
