She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
