roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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