out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
