I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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