oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize