Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
