I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
