i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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