I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
