why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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