you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dicks are not precious.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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