I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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