can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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