I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
