Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
