And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So many bounce houses so little time
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
