Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is my gift to your gina
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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