So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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