He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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