why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
