Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
