I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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