so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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