Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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