fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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