i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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