I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
And then he peed in my hair
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