im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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