we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
