After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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