is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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