You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Congratulations! We have a period
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize