Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
