but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize