How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize