By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
