I can tuck mytits in my pants
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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