WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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