I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you inspire me to be a worse person
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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