So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
