Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
