I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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