ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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