I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
