Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I touched a dick in church today
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
